Good Day All!
Another Thursday means another progress report on my current WIP: the Divided Draft. It’s been a fairly productive week of edits, cleaning up some extraneous vocabulary and cleaning up some cringe-worthy dialogue. I’ve been paying special attention to any lingering plot holes that should have been cleaned up by now. For the most part, my issue with this current revision is less plot oriented, focused instead on grammatical and linguistic clarity. If that makes sense.
This week, however, I have also come to be mindful of my POVs. Told in third person, my narrative jumps between two main perspectives. The first, is that of the story’s heroine/protagonist: Keira. The second is that of an important secondary character introduced in the last post: Sean. When I first wrote the story, it was all written in Keira’s perspective – always third person – but in a later edit, I realized that the story needed Sean’s perspective too. Or so I believed.
Reading through it now, I’m less certain. Having Sean’s perspective adds to the mystery that guides the first act, and lends needed characterization, but there’s something bothering me about it now that never niggled at my mind before. My sister is reading my first two chapters at the moment to give me her insight, but it’s troubling me enough to wonder if I should gage someone else’s perspective…
Which brings up two questions:
1st, what is your favourite pov to write in?
2nd, would you be interested in beta-reading just the first two or three chapters of my story–if I decide I need a second opinion? Let me know 🙂
Here’s a small excerpt from what I worked on this week:
The woman bid her to look to the ocean.
The waters were dark and unfathomable, though the moon and stars were well reflected upon them, their light no more diminished in this mirrored image. They were the only entities Keira could perceive in the black ink of the ocean.
Squinting, she willed her eyes to break the obscurity and see what waited beneath the surface.
Nothing. There was nothing. Frustrated with her inability to see, Keira felt her stability waver. She reached for the woman, but found only empty air. There was no one for her to grab to.
Keira teetered and then fell, her body curving without grace.
The ocean enveloped her, cold and murky, and she sank into it, not unlike the way she had ten years before. Through the gloom that surrounded her, Keira caught sight of a shadowy figure. Her heart leapt with excitement at the sight of the sunken ship resting upon a protrusive rock structure.
FIN
May inspiration flow like ink upon your quill,
Faith 
© 2016. Faith Rivens.
aliasfaithrivens 
I’d love to beta read the first 2 or 3 chapters. I did the same thing with my YA action adventure, adding a new POV like halfway through the book. It is kind of a tricky thing to handle. I always write in third person limited. (haven’t really mastered omnipresence…or whatever it’s referred to as
) because first person is weird for me. I strongly dislike reading in first person, but it tends to pop up ALL OVER THE PLACE. But I feel like it limits the reader’s knoweledge, which is a good thing sometimes. I also feel like it limits the writer’s ability but that’s just my opinion. How important is this secondary character? is he vital to the overall flow of the story?I just finished up a first person POV story and the whole time I wanted to know what was going on in the minds of the other characters b/c there wasn’t enough info for me. But most of the time, that is the author’s choice and point. So it’s really a toss up.
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Thank you for offering. I’ll definitely keep you in mind 🙂
He is a very important character who offers a different perspective than my protagonist which is why I feel he is important.
I also have a lot of trouble writing in first person. I feel as though my writing comes out awkward.
Thanks for taking the time to share your preferences and opinions. I’m grateful for your insight! 🙂
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Personally, my favourite has always been third person, multiple POV. I wrote the first draft of my first book all from the POV of my main (female character). When it came to editing, I realized what I needed to do was present some of the scenes from the POVs of other characters. I think the changes improved things and solved some of the problems I’d had in keeping information back from the reader.
I’d be more than happy to be a beta reader for your first few chapters. Just tell me exactly what you want me to look for so I can make my feedback specific and helpful 🙂
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Thanks for sharing Claire! You and I are very similar in this! My second POV also helps to lend more insight to the reader and creates some interesting dramatic irony for the story’s tension.
Thanks for offering to beta read. I’ll definitely let you know 🙂
Best of luck with your book. May I ask what it’s about?
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My book is commercial women’s fiction. It’s about a woman who dreams of reviving her career as a “life-fixer” and the washed-up artist she tries to restore to his former glory. She’s a kind of Mephistopheles, if you like, although she after financial reimbursement rather than people’s souls!
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Another note: And this is just my opinion. I’ve read books where the POV will shift to a somewhat important character for a short burst of time and that annoys me. If you’re going to shift the POV, then do it consistently. If you want to have a whole bunch ,then use them consistently. Also, I love the excerpt, it’s well written, descriptive, intriguing 🙂
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It can be rather jarring when it pops up randomly. Don’t worry, my shift between POVs is fairly consistent, at least every chapter there’s a switch, sometimes just for a little.
Thank you! I’m glad you enjoyed it 🙂
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I prefer to write in first person, but some of my other short stories feel better written in third person. I guess it really depends, though.
I’d LOVE to be beta! I think that asking people like this instead of complete strangers (even though we’ve never met) is a really good idea. You know if they’re trustworthy and if they have the guts to be a beta. If you ever need someone to read your WIP, DM on Twitter because I’d love to help.
Great post by the way. I was really interested in reading more after the excerpt you put towards the end. Good luck with the edits and finding some betas!
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Thanks so much Jasmine! You’re right; I would feel better giving my story to people I’ve come to know through interactions on this blog then complete strangers. I’ll be sure to DM you about it when I make the decision 🙂
I wish I could write in first person. I always admire people who can. My attempts have always been rather awkward.
I’m glad you enjoyed it! Thank you for all your support! It’s really appreciated 😀
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I think that some people were MEANT to write in first person just like some people are meant to write in third. Whatever it is, you know how to do it best.
You’re absolutely welcome! And thanks for having me under consideration for betas! 😊
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A great post and interesting question. I much prefer writing in third person but some of the best stories were written in first person. I just find it hard to tell a story in just one perspective.
Do you feel that without Sean’s POV the story could lack atmosphere or that little extra something? I have played around with something similar in my story and found I needed two or three with a fourth cropping up near the end which will lead in to the next part.
I would love to read the first few chapters 🙂 I loved the excerpt and can’t wait to find out more 🙂
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I agree completely. I also have a hard time writing in 1st person.
I do believe that Sean’s POV brings some needed insight and some more perspective than would be available with just Keira’s.
Thanks for your support and I’ll be sure to let you know for the beta-reading. 🙂
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Normally I’d say 3rd person is my favorite, because that’s what I default to normally. I don’t know that I could keep up 1st person for a novel-length story. However, what type of 3rd person is another question. I’ve done research and frankly, I’m as confused as I ever was about the differences between 3rd person omniscient and 3rd person limited with multiple perspectives.
With my first novel finished, I have a new favorite PoV though. That being 1st person from the perspective of a character who’s not in the story much. Obviously it doesn’t work for everyone or every story, and you have to have a reason for why this character knows everything. But I *really* enjoy the way the story came out because of that perspective. It gave me freedom to be conversational and casual with the reader now and then. I do still have to make sure not to go past the scope of what makes sense for them to know, just like any 1st person or even 3rd person limited.
The excerpt you shared today definitely left me wanting to read more (both before and after it). I would be willing to help out too, if you still need more.
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I was looking that up too the other day: the difference between omniscient and limited. I think the main thing is that one captures emotions of anyone in the scene, whereas limited just captures one character’s thoughts and viewpoint. But I could be wrong…
That is a unique perspective. And you’re definitely right that it won’t apply to every story. I can’t wait to read it and see how it fits into yours 🙂
I’m glad that you enjoy the excerpt & I thank you for offering to help out 🙂 I’ll be sure to let you know!
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What confused me was the difference between omniscient and a 3rd person limited with multiple POVs. Apparently it’s a subtle difference, though frankly I didn’t always agree with the examples I found. I can now say, though, that my novel reads more like 3rd person subjective omniscient than anything else (though again, it’s such a minor, subtle difference), at least until the narrator actually comes into the story.
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I’ve written mostly in first and third limited with multiple POV. My favorite to do (and most natural for me) turned out to be first person, alternating between two different characters. It gave the added perspective and balanced out the story more, even added to the mystery. The key with two characters is that they come together towards a common goal or work in direct opposition by the end, but they also need their separate problems going on throughout the rest of the book.
I did the same thing as you. Originally, I wrote the story from one character’s POV, but it felt like something was missing, there wasn’t enough conflict, and there were long periods of nothing happening, then a bunch of stuff happened at once. Adding a second perspective fixed all that and let me delve into a second character. Though I can’t really call him a secondary character. He’s as important to the story as the first character.
So for your story, you should consider how important is Sean to the plot, are any of the major themes explored through Sean, does Sean have his own goals/subplots, does he create conflict with Keira?
I really liked the snippet you included. I’m already very curious about this story. I’d be happy to beta/provide feedback for a few chapters, if you’d like.
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Thank you so much for all your feedback and insight! They’re most enlightening 🙂 I had chosen to include Sean’s POV originally because of the way his perspective complimented Keira’s.
I appreciate all your support 🙂 It’s very well appreciated!
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Complimenting perspectives can work great. And it’s a little more natural to switch in third person. You can get away with more. The balancing act doesn’t need to be quite so 50/50 as in first person. Have you considered adding any other POVs too or are those the only two character the story makes sense coming from?
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For this one, I’m definitely sticking to just the two. The next novel will add a third for sure 🙂
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Hello lovely! I always write in first person for my stories. Something about immersing yourself in that character’s heads makes it feel more emotionally involving, important because I write romance lol. I would love to read the first few chapters to beta for you! Always happy to!
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You’re too kind! I love when people write in 1st person for exactly that reason. I wish I felt more comfortable with it. Thanks for taking the time to comment. It means a lot to me 🙂
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