Advent Shorts: Day 11 – Thin Ice

Hi everyone,

Just a little heads-up. The next few days are going to be a little hectic, so I’m hoping to be able to post every day, but it’s going to be tough and the writing’s going to be rough at best. Like this for example. Sorry about that.

Enjoy, if you can 🙂

Thin Ice

The fissure in the ice spread between his legs. The sound of the crack was sharp, a gunshot going off in the clear night. Across the distance, their eyes met. His expression slipped from wide surprise to sudden panic before his body disappeared into the frigid waters.

Shannon was rooted to the spot, frozen as if she herself had been doused in the icy waters of the lake. The staggering spell melted off her as adrenaline kicked into her body.

She sped forward across the ice, her skates tracing deep grooves below her. She did not stop to worry if the ice would hold her. Her mind and sight were set on the wide gap in the ice through which he had disappeared.

Her body sank onto the ice as she reached the place. The surface had stilled, leaving the impression of never having been disturbed.

Her hand shot through it, breaking its sham of serenity. The cold pierced her skin with a thousand sharp needles. A gasp of pain shot from her mouth, but she did not stop to consider her action. She fought against the ache, extending her hand as far it could.

She brushed flesh and ensnared it.

A hand wrapped around hers, holding to it with desperate need. It tugged, relying on her for strength.

Shannon solidified her positions as the sensation of being dragged into the water shot through her.

She screamed, using her voice to empower her, to lend strength to her limbs.

Then she pulled, using all the strength she possessed to haul him from the perilous lake.

Their clasped hands broke through the surface together. His other arm shot up too and searched for ice to support his weight and lift him up.

The ice cracked beneath his mass and he fell back, nearly dragging her into the depths with him.

With a shrill cry, she pulled again and he threw his body towards her, emerging finally from the icy waters, dripping and shivering, but alive.

Shannon panted heavily and cringed at an ache in her side. She had pulled something in her exertion. She brushed aside that small pang and her chilled arm. They were small grievances in the larger picture.

Aaron’s grey-blue eyes conveyed such gratitude that she was overwhelmed by his sentiments. He could not say a word.

Shannon helped him to stand, and they made their way with caution to the bank. There, she threw both large blankets over him and huddled closed to him, intent on keeping him warm before calling for help. 

“Thank you,” Aaron managed to say at last.

“Don’t mention it.”

“This didn’t turn out quite as I had planned.” He stammered through the words, his teeth chattering through the effort.

“Don’t worry,” she assured him. “I’ve had first dates far worse than this.”


May inspiration flow like ink upon your quill,

Faith  quill-ink

© 2015. Faith Rivens.

8 thoughts on “Advent Shorts: Day 11 – Thin Ice

  1. I wish my best writing was as good as your “rough” 😀 Excellent story! I could feel my heart rate increasing as I read along. If this wasn’t her worst first date, then I’d love to know what was ;p Great job!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. “…sham of serenity” might be one of my favorite phrases ever. Another thrilling (and cold!) piece that had me breathless for a moment. It’s not an enjoyable scenario to imagine, but I’m glad it turned out okay. What is the protocol after having your life saved by a girl on your first date? Do you call her right away or wait a week? Or are you now her slave for life?

    Liked by 1 person

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